They move slowly still waiting for your muscles to tense, for your tiny step backward. At any moment, either of us could stop this, lend an ear to a suspicious voice cloaked in smug judgment, take that step back and lose the contact. And in thinking of this, I take a deeper breath, force these memories to sear themselves into my mind, absorbing every single second that I stand here, desperate not to forget any part of this. I float back to the surface, your warm, soft words flowing around me still. I try to refocus on the conversation, the wall, any required responses that I need to offer. Have I been caught? Do you know where I am as you sit there, offering your friendship, your conversation? Can you read my eyes? Can you hear my heart beating differently? I realize that I’m holding my breath as I check your eyes and face for discovery. Am I safe? I spiral back into what I can only hope is the future. I can feel your breath in my hair, your face is tilted down toward the top of my. I would never have dreamed of letting someone make me wear a skirt in a million years. I still don't really like it and sometimes have to be punished if I refuse to wear whatever sexy skirt or dress I am ordered into......but that's a different story.The first time was one day at school. We had just finished a lesson and were going out for lunch break. It was a lovely summer day and I had a packed lunch that I intended to sit and eat on the school field.As I left the classroom a girl called Kelly came up to me and whispered, "Meet me behind the art building and I'll let you kiss me."I had fancied her for a while and had been told that she was a good kisser so I smiled and said that I would be there. I watched her walk away, talking to one of her friends. Kelly had gorgeous long blonde hair that she wore loose most of the time and in bunches some of the time. She had a thin white cotton blouse on, through which I could see her black bra straps (a sight that always made me feel a bit.
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